As my birthday is fast approaching and as I celebrate another year of living I feel eternally blessed with the love and support I have received from friends, clients and family over the past year and I found myself wondering on what can I give back.
Love is the most powerful emotion a person ever experiences and it also the hardest to describe. The Bible describes love as “… love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13 vs 4 -5)
In the lead up to October I have been reflecting on my life and my essence and what is my gift to the world. As I read the definition above and reflecting on what the scriptures say I have come to the realization that my gift to the world and myself can only be about love. It encompasses a balance between receiving and giving love. It must be about combining a deep sense of gratitude whilst embracing the need to set boundaries and being able to sometimes be selfish and say NO.
Saying NO is an act of love. Its finding a way of saying to your loved ones – I cannot do this as it is not in line with my values, I cannot afford it, I already have something planned, I do not work on weekends or public holidays; I am off to my child’s parents meeting, that’s my gym time or I just need to be alone and nurture my soul. It should not lead to a sense of guilt but it should strengthen the relationship as it is based on true love and honesty.
Imagine when you say YES and you mean NO? It leads to resentment and in my view cannot be about building the relationship or strengthen the team but only malicious compliance or not wanting to be seen to be swimming against the tide. It creates an unnecessary animosity and given a chance it is an opportunity to erode trust and open up inconcealable cracks.
Loving yourself is also an important part of love. It is about saying I MATTER and I need to look after myself. I must understand what I need in order to be able to help others and to use the anology on the aeroplane – “please put your own oxygen mask first before you help children and others”. This might sound selfish but loving yourself is the greatest gift of all.
In the next year I will be working with the Zenande team to offer you products and services that are aimed at enhancing love. They are about knowing that we MATTER and we can give more to the world when we are taken care off. Zenande is in the month of October offering a workshop on “ Redesign your life and career workshop” (if interested contact Ziyanda@zenandeleadership.com) and please join us on a journey of love.
Loving you always