Crl-Alt-Del

A combination of three keys on a PC keyboard, usually labeled Ctrl-Alt-Del, held down simultaneously in order to close an application that is not responding; rebooting the computer; log in etc” – (Dictionary.com).

2020 was one of those years that anything that could go wrong, DID go wrong. I don’t know how many people I have spoken to who want it to end because of too many plans were not realized and many dreams shattered. To be frank; it was a pretty dumb year and most people can’t wait to see the back of it.

Wanting 2020 to end is one thing; knowing how to move forward and restart is another. The question arises – ”how many of us know what to do and how to press the reset button and start all over again?” I am a firm believer in the human ability to bounce back. I believe that we all have an intrinsic ability to not only start afresh but comeback much stronger than we were before the computer froze. My humble submission is that there is no better time to reboot and reclaim our brilliance. You might ask how? Let me share 3 ideas for now.

1. Just do it

I am not talking about the Nike tag line here; although there might merit in exploring that. I am talking about you putting on your dancing shoes and hitting the dance floor. Of course you might miss the beat; but who is watching? Release yourself from the perfectionistic tendencies and embrace the imperfection and before you know you would have danced to the whole song.

2. Clarity is in the action

”I am not sure how and where to start”… ”I don’t have all my ducks in a row”… ”What if?”… ”What could happen?”… ”what should?”… etc. Sound familiar? Well, sometimes you have to perfect the car when it is already on the road. You have to give yourself permission to go ahead and recalibrate whilst on the highway. I am often fascinated by the GPS when we have missed the turn and you hear a message that says “recalculating”. If you have a little patience then the GPS finds the road again and soon we are back on our journey.

3. Get help

Sometimes we just need someone to say….”hang in there, it will be alright”. Sometimes we need a physiotherapist to show us how to walk again and remind our muscles and joints that we were once able to walk. We can get different kinds of help. A professional e.g… a coach: who can help with tools and tips to unlock your best self. You can read other people’s stories, especially those who have overcome adversaries to help you rise again. You can solicit the advice of a friend. There is a myriad of opportunities for you to explore and all you need is to accept that asking for help is a sign of strength.

Let me leave at that for now and please keep in touch by following me on social media; visit our website http://www.zenandeleadership.com to find out more what’s on offer… If you sign up for our newsletter you will certainly get more of these small nuggets to help you to press the reset button.

Lovingly

Pam The Coach

Being in the zone

My last blog was about welcoming Spring and I urged you to find ways to spring into action.

How did that go?   Did you find that useful?  

The good thing for me with the blogs is that I get to do the work as well.   What really got me going was the reference to “a way of being that accepts our true essence”

Since the 1^st of September I have been grappling with this question – What is my true essence”  How do I take back by personal power such that I am fine with who I am?  How do I acknowledge my personal growth and distinguish between intentional living and accepting fate?

I do not know about you but for me these are hard questions that often times I avoid and continue to live a life that is not congruent with who I am?

I am bringing this topic for discussion just to share my thoughts and my own internal debates and it would be real nice if you were to leave me some comments on your perspective or views.

To be able to answer these sometimes difficult questions it helps to Tap in the power Within”   It is my firm belief that when you have tapped into your power you are better able to make the impact you want and not permanently feel in a state of despair.

A few tips on how do to this:

• Find time to be with self – this means no distractions and really use the time to be with self and engage in serious conversations.  Be comfortable with your own company as in many cases we are in the company of others and social beings we seek to please others as a way of seeking belonging;
• Sit with your own discomfort – as we go through life people and certain environments trigger us and it is important that you work out “Why am I feeling this way?  What is it that was being said that is making me feel this way?
• Embrace Change – change is the only constant and every day if we are open to learning and discovery, we should be finding situations that challenge our perspective in life and the paradigms that have served us to date;
• Be prepared to Act – some of us suffer from analysis-paralysis and never find actually do something about anything.   I am firm believer that sometimes we learn to swim by being plunged into the deep end and also clarity is sometimes attained in action.   So start and do something.   With time you can correct or put differently take a calculate risk but do take the risk.

As I conclude I would like you invite you to join me as I explore these and many other issues in two current programs.   The first one is a 7 – day free Spring Awakening Series which is currently running.   The second one is a paid programme where we go much deeper into these issues and more.   Interested?  Please contact info@zenandeleadership.com

Lovingly

Pam The Coach

Springing into action!

Today is the 1st of September yippee! … It is the beginning of spring. This is normally the day we put on our bright colored clothing and go out to have fun as we welcome the day and the season. In the township where I grew up, this would be the day when we take hosepipes to spray each other with water and celebrate the new season.

Given how difficult 2020 has been, this day is super special and we all need to make the best of it. I know what I am saying might be a little reckless because we are still under lockdown and are still dealing with a pandemic.

What if we can usher in the new season in a different way i.e awaken our inner goddess and find new ways of being? Our inner Goddess is about our femininity or that nurturing and caring side of us that we are born with and yet we are not in touch with because we are trying to prove our worth. We spend our lives trying to look the part and fit the script because we think that is what it takes.

What if there is another way of being? A way of being that accepts our true essence and starts to value what we bring to the table. Sheryl Sandberg asks the question of us…”What would you do if you were not afraid”. I take this question further and ask “what would happen if you showed up as you?”

We have gone through difficulty in 2020; some people lost their loved ones and others their jobs etc. We are not out of the woods yet, however we can bring some positive energy to our lives. We can sit and host the biggest pity parties or we can choose the high road. This means recognizing that being feminine is not being weak but being courageous whilst caring. It means not allowing dis-empowering behaviors to define us but adopt those behaviors that are in sync with our highest values and contribute to our divine and feminine excellence.

Bringing positive energy means different things to different people. For me it is about finding ways to rekindle my passion; connect with self and chart a new path in a way that primarily serves me. It further means making choices that serve me; not because I am an island or selfish but recognizing that I matter and I deserve better.

 

I know there are many sisters out there who have written 2020 off and are now living in hope that 2021 will be better. Well; 2021 might be a better year for all we know; however I am not leaving things to chance. I am taking today as the day that marks my reawakening… My life mission and dreams beckon. Today is the day I draw the line in the sand, celebrate and invest in me.

As I embark on this journey I feel generous and would like invite some sisters to join me on a 7 Day Spring Awakening Series. Beginning on the 14th of September 2020… I invite you to join me for an hour of each day between 6:30 and 7:30 pm where I share my best tools and tips of awakening your inner goddess. This means setting aside just one hour of your day in service of YOU. If you need further details please follow our page of Face Book “Zenande Leadership Consulting” or send an email at info@zenandeleadership.com and you will be sent information on how to register.

Lovingly

Pam the coach

Each generation needs to play its part

We are celebrating women’s month and as to be expected during this time people post different things on social media. These posts are often about honoring and celebrating women for their contribution to society. I saw one post a couple of days ago that did not sit well with me and I reflected on it. The post was titled “South Africa needs the skills of the women who led resistance”.  Somehow this headline did not sit well with me as I do believe that every generation of women has its own challenge and women should be able to rise to the challenge of the day.

 

Let me start by acknowledging those generations that came before us. They played a significant role in moving the needle and bring to the forefront the real issues facing women during their times. In 1956, before then and throughout the struggle women braved the apartheid regime’s onslaught against most black women and became a force to be reckoned with. They led numerous struggles at home, at the factory floor, in communities, etc. to get the powers that be to know that “Wathint’abafazi wathint’imbokodo’’.  They paved the way and they pioneered the women struggle.

 

I believe that the women of today have taken the baton and waged the struggle in different ways, often faced the manifestation of patriarchy and other societal evils in different ways.   They have been fighting amongst others, femicide, increased gender-based violence, higher levels of unemployment, increasing levels of poverty and increasing under representation in the boardroom. We saw with pride, how women leaders from various countries were leading the charge against the Covid-19 pandemic.

 

Historically the struggle waged by women is about the recognition that “Women matter” and they should form an integral part of finding societal solutions, if not lead these.  We should however recognise that the form and shape of such struggle maybe different however, the essence is the same and all generations should play their part in taking the struggle against women oppression and all its manifestations a step further. This requires different strategies and tactics, however we should not dare make the mistake of labelling the approaches to be less important. If we do that, we run the risk of weakening the course and start comparing each other and lose sight of the real enemy.

 

We need to build resilience, promote sisterhood and be firm in our resolve that no country can be free unless its women are free.  We need to support the struggles of young women today who often need role models and mentors to just walk the difficult path with them.   We need intergenerational conversations and support mechanisms that seek to understand each other and support one another through sharing tools, approaches and strategies.  We need to build a movement that collectively seeks to support every woman, regardless of age, in their daily struggles.  We need to distinguish between easy victories and the real struggle and if we lose focus the challenge will get bigger.

 

Let us understand that each generation might be faced with different manifestation of the problem but the struggle remains the same.

 

Pam The Coach

 

WOMEN’S MONTH WITH A DIFFERENCE

Zenande Leadership

Normally, when we celebrate women’s month we would be looking forward to spring and even better a brighter and warmer part of the year.  The high levels of optimism as we march through the last stretch of winter is often unprecedented. Suddenly the spring in our steps is different, we can sense the positive horizon within touching distance.

The Covid-19 pandemic and its impact in our economic and social lives, coupled with rising gender- based violence statistics have made this month a little gloomy to say the least. Suddenly the mood has changed from celebration to concern and fear. What does this all mean for this year’s women’s month? Does it mean women should not be celebrated as there are more things to concern about?  That would be a grave mistake as women and their efforts need to be celebrated and honored now more than ever before… As we know, …

View original post 318 more words

WOMEN’S MONTH WITH A DIFFERENCE

Normally, when we celebrate women’s month we would be looking forward to spring and even better a brighter and warmer part of the year.  The high levels of optimism as we march through the last stretch of winter is often unprecedented. Suddenly the spring in our steps is different, we can sense the positive horizon within touching distance.

The Covid-19 pandemic and its impact in our economic and social lives, coupled with rising gender- based violence statistics have made this month a little gloomy to say the least. Suddenly the mood has changed from celebration to concern and fear. What does this all mean for this year’s women’s month? Does it mean women should not be celebrated as there are more things to concern about?  That would be a grave mistake as women and their efforts need to be celebrated and honored now more than ever before… As we know,  that they bear brunt of most of the country’s hardships.

 

How best to celebrate women during this time?

 Being cognizant of the current social and economic hardships, we need to celebrate women by recognizing that the following:

• Women are worthy of celebrating

Women constitute the majority of our population and constitute the bedrock of our society.  They diligently contribute to society’s sustenance and their often carry their burden without even a flinch.  They often go about their societal role without complaining and or seeking accolades, and often times they often forget who they are and the value they bring.  We need to continually affirm them especially the younger generation that they are valued and they matter. They might not hold high positions in society however, they hold the most important position of keeping the social fabric intact.

• Women get things done

In the words of Margaret Thatcher “If you want something done, ask a woman”.  They often do the impossible and soldier on with or without recognition. Women know that they need to do what is necessary to keep things going and to drive change. They have resilience and the zest to get things going and often get out of their way to achieve results.

• Women are a Masterpiece

You are God’s Masterpiece – Ephesian 2:10 is a rallying point for women to believe in themselves and honor their beauty.  Beauty is not limited to what is merely seen on the surface.  It is about living your truth and embracing your inner beauty. Having a growth mindset and believing in one’s abilities and skills is fundamental in holding that women are rare diamonds that need to be constantly nurtured and polished so that they remain a masterpiece.

As we celebrate this month in a more somber environment, lets remain focused and appreciate the role that women continue to play in society.

Happy Women’s month

Pam The Coach

Reshape you life by embracing change

Zenande Leadership

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

We are going through a very difficult time and the Covid-19 pandemic has had many of us thinking and asking difficult questions. The questions range from seeking to understand why is this happening to when is it gonna end. As I write this I find myself wondering if these are the right questions or the only questions to ask. In the process of reflecting on the current situation I went back to Maya Angelou’s works (I find her teachings very instructive) and checked what would she say about the situation.

As always she did not disappoint she sent me back to the basics i.e my mission…

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Reshape you life by embracing change

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

We are going through a very difficult time and the Covid-19 pandemic has had many of us thinking and asking difficult questions. The questions range from seeking to understand why is this happening to when is it gonna end. As I write this I find myself wondering if these are the right questions or the only questions to ask. In the process of reflecting on the current situation I went back to Maya Angelou’s works (I find her teachings very instructive) and checked what would she say about the situation.

As always she did not disappoint she sent me back to the basics i.e my mission. The more I reflected on this I had to dig deep and say what is my mission and how do I surge closer to it whilst acknowledging that things have changed. The answer that comes out loud and clear – ”embrace change.”

Working further on this I worked on what to do in refining my life whilst embracing change. The result led me to the 3 things I need to do and I thought let me share these tips and I hope you might find them useful:

1. Go back to basics – ask yourself a basic question – what is my contribution to society in these trying times? Once you find an answer write down 3 or 4 actions that you will take to contribute to a better world.
2. Find ways to adapt – it does not help to complain or play victim. Ask yourself the next question – how can I pivot from the current to the new? Again once you find an answer write down 3 or 4 actions that you will take towards your new normal.
3. Adopt a new lifestyle- speak to others or google new things or different things that you can do in these times or speak to friends and ask for ideas. Write down all the answers that you get and choose 3 or 4 that resonate with you. Remember for you to sustain these they must be congruent with who you are.

I hope this blog has contributed somewhat to your journey as you seek to cope and embrace the current change.

Till the next blog

Coach Pam

P.s. Have decided to bring back the Webinars. The next one is on Thursday the 30th of July. Send me your ideas on the focus areas/theme by going to http://www.zenandeleadership.com and click on Ask Pam. All ideas are welcome ❤️❤️

Freedom day it is!

Today we celebrate the anniversary of our freedom as a people.  This is the day, in 1994 the majority of South Africans cast their vote for the first time in their lifetime. Someone may ask… ”Why is this day a big deal as we have not addressed many of our country’s economic and social challenges?” That is definitely the case, however as a people we are no longer suffering from racial domination and all of us have a right to vote and choose who we are in a relationship with without breaking the law.

I have some people arguing that this Freedom Day is not the same and therefore cannot be celebrated. Well it is their right to feel that way but for many South Africans it is a day that we triumphed over a system that sought to make us less of in our own country.  In my books that needs to be celebrated. Where I think we have a big challenge is, the matter of Covid-19 where our movement is restricted for our own good and for the sake of our fellow citizens. Someone posted something on Facebook and said, “We isolate ourselves so that when we get back together… No one is missing” – (Unknown). On this day I would like to celebrate such a commitment to humanity and such a profound perspective on respecting the value of life and connection.  It is such a profound statement as I would really like to reconnect with my friends, colleagues, clients and other people in the not so distant future.

As I celebrate this day, I would like to share a few things on what this lock down has meant for me and the profound lessons I am learning.

• I realise how much freedom and choices I have after all. The biggest choice I have made is to spend this time reflecting on who I am?  What defines me?  What is important to me and how resilient I am?
• I realise how much have I taken my health and well-being for granted. I now know that my health is my wealth and if I don’t look after it then I can lose it.  (yeah just like that). I have come face to face with the reality of my own mortality.
• I realise that I was born with gifts and I need to share these with the world. I have made a conscious decision that no matter what I refuse to die with “my own music still in me” So I need to work on sharing my gifts with the world and show up as the best I can be everyday:
• I realise how fortunate I am that I still have to choose what I eat whilst others do not have that luxury. More importantly I see the need to “count my blessings” and live a life filled with gratitude.

Finally I realise that this lockdown has been a gift to me and I am grateful to my leaders for helping me get back to self and realise that in what appears to be adversity there is a lot of hidden opportunities and all I need to do is change my paradigm and look at all with a positive eye.  I am so grateful and I now realise that freedom means.  As I end this, I embrace the words of Reeve Evans when she says….” We live in a world of absolute freedom and the only constraints are the ones we put on ourselves”

 On that note I feel good saying “Happy Freedom Day” to all.  May your find yourselves during this time and know that the biggest freedom is to be liberated from your mind.

PamTheCoach

Finding yourself

Many countries are on lockdown and most of us are finding ourselves in unfamiliar territory. Some people are engulfed in fear and others are starting to talk about what opportunities does a post Covid-19 world pose?

I don’t know about you; but I have found myself moving from fear; sadness; worry; self doubt; questioning self worth and sometimes excited about the future. The one good thing is that I have taken a conscious decision not to judge myself but merely chose to notice the feelings and embrace them.

I have also made a decision to start living in the NOW. Acknowledge and being in touch with what is going on around me and how am I responding to it. The one thing I am proud of is the choice I have made of going inside and ask myself who am I becoming in these difficult times.

If you have taken a similar decision I have found some tips to share with you. These tips are an adaptation of what Afam Uche wrote on the topic of finding yourself.

Here are the tips:

• Change you perspective and habits – when you change your perspective on how you look at something, it is a first step in re-framing what you are dealing with. When you have done this you will definitely find new habits.
• Outline your worth; value and authenticity – you can ask questions like what may I be needing right now? What might have brought these feelings and thoughts? Remind yourself that just because I am feeling this way this shouldn’t be my only truth so the question is – what other truth exists that I may be blinded to?
• Ask Questions- when you feel like sliding off find time to unplug and reflect e.g. what direction do I have to shift into? What emotions do I have to honor and prioritize? How can I appreciate my worth?
• Evaluate – in the process of evaluating you can: give yourself permission to be imperfect; being tender with your fear; set and maintain boundaries and reminding yourself on your worthiness.

More information: visit afumache.com

I would like to end this by leaving you with an extract from a Randy Crawford song.

“I’ve been to Georgia and California; oh; anywhere I could go;

Took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun;

But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free;

I’ve been to paradise, but I have never been to me”

Enjoy the journey

Pamthecoach